Thinking About Life...

Ok, so I know I haven't written in a million years...yeah. This always happens! I have a creative burst for a couple of days and then it goes away and then when the burst comes back about a month or two later, I write again. Sorry for being so bipolar with my blog-ige.

Anyways, so as I am at school, thinking about what major I want is constantly flowing through my head. And you'd think that I would come up with something since I'm always thinking about it. You would think that if you logged enough hours thinking and contemplating and staring at the majors on the BYU website, you would eventually have an idea! Yeah, not so much. I don't know what the crap I want to do.

I have looked and I have thought but I have not decided. What do you do? Do you do something you know you love or something that will allow you to live a stable life for you and your family? And if you do the thing you love, how do you know you will love it if you pursue it as a career? What do you love??? What do you want to do everyday for the rest of your life? Do you pick a major where you can get a job right after four years of college or something that will require more time?? You can probably tell that anyone's brain would be fried from all these questions. It's amazing how open major college students still make it through their classes. So there are a couple of things that I have considered doing, but I have not decided anything yet.

FIRST!

I could become a vet. I could major in Biology, then probably move back to Michigan where I would go to the Michigan State vet school and spend another four years there.

Pros: I love animals. Great pay.

Cons: Lots of debt. Four more years of school. Don't veterinarians have a high depression/suicide rate?

And all of this would happen assuming I don't get married before I graduate because then everything would be screwed up and my life would be over. Just kidding...right?

SECOND!

I could just major in Biology. Having a Biology major leaves me a lot of options. I was looking at the majors on the BYU website and there was a Wildlife and Wildlands Conservation major that looks really cool. I would be interested in working in a job to preserve the environment and the animals in it. If I don't do that, I could go back to the vet thing, or even go to medical school or something like that. A lot of options.

Pros: Lots of options.

Cons: Don't know if I would like any of the options. Do I even like Biology? Again, probably need more school after four years to get an actual job.

THIRD!

I could just bite the bullet and be a music major. Ok, I might be seriously late for it, but music is really something that I KNOW I love. I would have to brush up my playing to actually get in the program and then either major in something that involves teaching or the media music major, which will probably not get me much. I don't really want to teach music and would rather have it as a hobby.

Pros: I know I love music.

Cons: Would I like doing music as a career? It's going to be hard. I'm not sure if I'll even get a job from this major. What if I need to support myself?

Yeah, I don't know exactly what else to do. I mean, there are other options like nursing, which would get me a great job and I would be able to support myself. I could become a teacher, maybe even a history teacher, but I don't know if I want to teach. Not great pay, but good benefits. And I really like history.

Maybe I could become a carpenter!! I could build things and maybe even one day build pianos! That would be amazing. I would have to go somewhere else to learn carpentry...

I really don't want to be in the business/lawyer/in cubicle category of a job. I would rather do something outside or something with animals and something that I enjoy.

As you can see, my mind is scattered. Lots of options. Lots of pros and cons. Lots of life-changing options that will determine what I do for the rest of my life. Yeah, no pressure, Stephanie!

And if all else fails, I could be a hobo. I like shopping carts. :)

Right on.

Here we go again!

Hello! I am back from my wonderful Christmas break and am starting my second semester at BYU. Time to put away the Christmas decorations, stop eating good food, and change my playlist to the regular one without Christmas music. Fun, huh?

So I got home on Saturday night after a long day of travelling and decided that I didn't want to be here! I was doing fine while I was leaving home and during the travelling process, but as soon as I stopped and sat on my couch, the tears started flowing. There was a definite hole or withdrawal from leaving home that made me sad. After some healthy, well-needed tears, I felt some weight off my shoulders and felt prepared to go back. Have you ever noticed that?Sometimes you need just a good cry. ~Cue Dane Cook's skit about crying. Look it up. It's awesome~. Sometimes the world taps you on the shoulder and squeezes those tears out of you like an orange in a juicer. And even though there are sad thoughts and unhappiness while you are crying, there is something about the aftermath of it that just makes you feel better. It cleanses your soul so you're ready for more crap the world is about to hand you. So if you haven't cried in a long time and you feel like you're depressed with the world, force yourself to cry and almost guaranteed you'll feel better.

Anyway, I digress.

So today was my first day back to class and I must say it went pretty well. The day started out pretty well because I got to sleep in. Since my plan is to get a morning job on campus, my classes don't start until noon or 1:30. So I take my time getting ready and head off to school. I get to my English class and, of course, think that it's the wrong class because even though the room number is right and the building is right and you're there at the right time, you think you're at the wrong place. It happens. But I was at the right place and my teacher seemed funny and easy-going so I think it'll be a good class. I proceeded to my Book of Mormon 122 class after that and almost stepped into a Statistics class. Yikes! So I proceeded to the room next to it, which was the right one, and found out that Todd Parker if freaking hilarious. Thank you, Liz! He was explaining the syllabus like every other teacher and then all of the sudden he would burst out with some movie quote or just kind of stare out into the audience and point at two guys and be like "Are you two twins?! You look like it! No? Ok, never mind" and then continue. I can tell that'll be a good one. Then I headed to my honors Biology class, which has such a funny, quirky teacher. It was weird having an hour and a half class in stead of a 50 minute one like I did my first semester. All in all, my teachers are funny and the classes seem good. A pat on the back for moi for picking my Monday-Wednesday classes. (We'll see about tomorrow's classes...)

One thing that will be different this semester will be that I will have more work to do. I will not be able to get away with lazing around all night without doing any significant homework most of the time and in stead watch movies online. Nope. I have reading assignments that I have to do for almost each class every night so when I get home and have that free time, it will be spent doing homework. WHAT? I HAVE TO STUDY? Yeah, weird.

One thing that I noticed, however, is how much we as humans crave other human interaction. I swear. I was feeling the let down of coming home and having to go back to school and just feeling sad/stressed/unmotivated. Then, I started talking to my roommates and I went to FHE tonight and had fun with my group and just felt so much better! Goofing around and joking with my roommates and talking about our classes and our homework just boosted me up and made me happier to be here and more motivated and made me feel like "Ok! I can do this!" It's amazing how much friends and just general people around you can affect your mood. Granted, this might just be me and my personal needs, but I seriously don't think I would have survived living in an apartment by myself. I need other people, which is good and bad at the same time.

So yeah, that's what's going on in my world. First, feeling unmotivated to go back to school and missing home and then being lifted up to feeling ready to go and ready to continue college and my independent life. (That's such a weird transition, by the way. Turning into an independent adult from a dependent child under your parents. Weird.)

Right on.