It's my 4am shift again! And time isn't moving fast enough and people aren't being nice enough, so I'm gonna blog. That usually helps.
Someday, I'm gonna have a job that doesn't make me hate weekends, holidays, and people. Someday...
Anyways.
So I leave Utah to move back to Michigan in less than a month. Guat? Yeah I dunno.
It seems like just yesterday I was coming out here for my first year of college! I don't understand how time works anymore. Next thing you know, I'll be old and dead. I should probably do some meaningful stuff before then, huh.
I actually went back and read a blog post I wrote about my first day at college and moving and stuff...it was a little depressing. Geez. But I remember that day! I remember getting on the bus and it was packed and I was sweating like the whole day, (STORY. OF. MY LIFE. SERIOUSLY.), and I didn't know where my classes were in these weirdly-named buildings and I was still sweating the whole time. And then my parents picked me up from campus because they were leaving to drive back to Michigan and they brought me tacos and then dropped me off in my apartment and left and I cried for like a million hours. Especially since my roommate didn't like to turn on the A/C. And I was sweating. And crying. Lots of moisture.
So yeah. It's been quite the journey ever since then! But holy crap I was not anticipating what kind of journey it'd be! It's not just like - oh yeah let's just go to college and learn things and start a career and that's it ladidadida! Yeah no one told me about all the other crap! Yeah apparently you have to learn all these life skills and how to live independently and find some sort of social life and then all of the sudden decide whether you believe in God or not and what's the meaning of your life.
And then also get A's in your BYU classes.
Seriously! There are so many adjustments/things to learn/life skills/life questions/etc that you have to figure out in this time of your life and all the while you have to balance school and a social life! IT'S DIFFICULT.
So these are some of the things that were put onto my college life plate for me to digest.
1) Buy food/cook for yourself. Sounds simple! But I still have yet to become an expert at it. How do you buy groceries just for 1 person? I would end up buying a bunch of random ingredients for something to eat, but end up not having anything to eat. There's only so much you can do with flour and frozen chicken and a 10 lb bag of potatoes. And then I've heard that it's easiest if you plan out your meals for the week and buy the ingredients for those, and then it works out because you have a lot of leftover ingredients to work with to make other stuff! I dunno. And then sometimes I just buy Hot Pockets and Pringles and live off that for a week or two.
2) Being social in your ward. Yup, never super mastered this one either. Because no one likes the initial awkwardness of meeting people and talking in that happy-fake-voice without actually getting to know people very well. And, I know, that's totally part of the process and you get to know people better over time, but sometimes I wish I could just walk up to someone and be like - "Anchorman. Seen it?"- and then go from there. But whatever. So yeah, I should've probably gone to more activities and I probably would've really met a lot of cool people and been super comfortable in the ward. But it takes time and effort to get to that point and I guess I didn't put a lot of either into it. Plus I already had a group of friends that I liked -but I didn't do much branching out. Which was totally fine until they all moved away my last year hahahaha - yup I feel like I'm socially awkward now.
3) Going to class every day. Oh geez this one killed my college career. But yeah - you have to wake up on your own, sometimes at ungodly hours of the day, and go to a class of over 400 people that doesn't take attendance. Yup that one was difficult.
And that's all I have to say about that one.
4) Career choice! This one's a doozy! (...is that how you spell it?) Yeah, you have to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life that you both enjoy and that will hopefully help you financially support yourself and your family if needed. And hurry up cuz you have to take the right general ed classes for that specific field. Yeah, I ended up taking like 5 classes that I didn't need after I decided on my major. And don't get me wrong - I'm glad I could have time to explore and decide what I want and everything, but at the same time I'm like - man this probably could've been over a lot sooner if I had known. So yeah when people tell you after graduating high school - oh don't worry! You have lots of time to decide what you want to do! ...Yeah but it's kind of easier if you start thinking about it earlier...just sayin. But then what if you're almost done with your major and you decide that you hate it?? Yayyy student loans foreverrr!! Yeah, I dunno.
5) Faith/Meaning of Life Crisis! So I feel like at some point during all of our lives we kind of sit down with ourselves and ask - what do I believe? What's the purpose of my life? Why am I here? Do I believe the teachings I've been taught during my childhood? And we all come up with different answers and go through different experiences trying to figure it out and everything and I feel like that's one of the scariest, yet most important parts of life. And for members of the church, we get to college and no one's forcing us to go to church anymore. So when our alarm goes off on Sunday morning, especially if it's at like 9am, we definitely ask ourselves why we want to go and what's the purpose of it. And if we decide that we don't actually believe in it and don't believe in God or anything, does that mean we're a terrible person? And do the truths of the gospel extend past the super narrow minds of some of the members and leaders we encounter here in the lovely Provo? And lots of other super interesting questions. And I'm not going to pretend like I understand everyone's experiences with this and that I know all about it - HAHAHA yeah no - but I sympathize with the process. And enjoy talking about it and hearing all different points of view. (Sorry if it sounds preachy - not my intention at all!!)
So yeah, anyways. I'm sure there are lots of other things, but I think those are the main ones. I'm super scared and excited for the ending of this chapter in my life and the start of a new one and what it has in store! And I'm ridiculously grateful for the experiences that I've had and the amazing support I've received.
ONWARD WE GO!
Oh yeah and here's a video. Bahahaha sorry I can't get enough of this guy.
Right on.
