I haven't left for college yet, but I will in about two weeks. It's kind of getting to me. Unlike my other friends who are leaving, though, I have been freaking out about this since like April so I'm kind of used to it.
I am nervous.
I am nervous that I will hate my roommates. I am nervous that I will be overwhelmed with my classes and that I'll just kind of give up and fail all of them. I am nervous that I am going to see people that I know and they will see the blob of weight I have gained since Mexico. I am nervous that I'm going to have freak panic attacks and not know why I had them!!
I am sad.
I am sad that I am leaving my home. I already did that like four years ago and am not terribly excited to do it again. I am comfortable at home and love my parents and my pets! I am sad that there is a possibility that I will get that call saying that ebony isn't feeling well and they're taking her to the vet. I am sad that I'm not going to be able to walk into my mom's room at like 10pm and force her to talk to me. I am sad that I'm not going to be in tears laughing at the dinner table with my dad and his witty pearls of wisdom. I am sad that I'm leaving my freakin awesome friends who have so graciuosly let me into their lives despite my never-ceasing talk of Mexico and my great life there.
I am excited.
I am excited that I have cool bedding. It's purple and black and I have a cool tapestry thing that goes over it and makes it look cool. I also have my body pillow cover that is soft and nice. My bedding started me to get excited about other stuff out at college. I am excited that my friend Mariana is going to be in my ward! What are the crazy odds!! I am also excited about being closer to my grandparents, aunts, uncle and brother. I am excited that I am becomming an adult and am going to learn about new things and possbily find what I have a passion for that could turn into my career. I am excited that I am (hopefully) going to be back for Christmas and so I'm not completely deserted forever in the perky abyss of brainwashing that is Utah.
So yeah. Feel free to feast upon my words and offer words of advice/comfort. I'LL NEED IT.
Oh yeah! And send me stuff in the mail! That will make me feel so much better. I love receiving mail. And don't send it to "sister sausage" because you will receive a "return to sender" sticker on it promptly. :)
Right on.
5 comments:
i could feed those fish for hours.....
Love this, Stephanie, and love YOU! You are going to be brilliant at college life, I just know it. So glad you're going to blog so I can read all about your triumphs! :)
I am SO EXCITED for you. You are going to ROCK IT. There will be big ups and big downs, but you're already way more mature and ready than 90% of your peers. You are going to have a blast and make life-long friends. You are going to get annoyed. You are going to be crazy. And it'll be a fantastic roller-coaster ride.
And I'm addressing all of your gifts/packages to Sister Sausage, so if you know what's good for you, you'll open them.
I just want you to know that on the computer that im using, your music did actually just start automatically!!! Whooo!!! And by the by I totally am going to visit when im in utah this september! the 5th actually. Not to be too specific!
I totally relate to how you feel about leaving home and getting started. I remember being so sad to leave everything I knew behind. But I really think you'll enjoy yourself a lot, here. Heck, I know I'm going to miss a lot of things about Provo and BYU when we eventually get out of here.
Your bedding sounds cool! It's fun to get settled into a new place! In a lot of ways it feels like a whole new life when you start college. We're excited that you'll be so close!!
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